- paris hilton
- britney spears
- kim kardashian
- brad pitt
- michael jackson
- justin timberlake
- kate moss
- anne heche
- cheryl crow
- david beckham
- victoria beckham
- katie holmes
- joshua jackson
- alyssa milano
- jessical biel
- jessica alba
- orlando bloom
- mariah carey
- scarlett johansson
- derek jeter
- robin williams
- michael vick
- tony bennett
- david hasselhoff
- and the list goes on…
The only one who seems to have “come out” of her own free will was the actress anne heche. she wrote a memoir of hers about her childhood sexual abuse and her acquisition of herpes as a result. all other celebrities appear to have been “discovered” by staff or paparazzi, or as a result of suing an ex-partner for “infecting” them.
some worrying trends
I noticed some disturbing trends in my research to write this blog post.
first, the victim language used in the articles. Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Mariah Carey and Scarlett Johansson are all “alleged victims of Derek Jeter” who, according to these online magazines, has been “infecting” a host of Hollywood stars. you’ll notice I used quotes at the time. it’s because herpes is an annoying skin condition, not a life-threatening disease. (read the “power of words”). yes, it’s yours for life. there is no cure for herpes. There is also no cure for HPV, the flu, or any other viral infection. either he leaves, or he stays with you. there’s not much you can do about it. it is not something that has “victims”. rapists have victims. killers have victims. abusers have victims. one could even say that cancer has victims. herpes has no victims.
Second, the blatant misinformation circulating on these websites. rollingout.com had this gem:
“even when there are no outbreaks, episodes or outbreaks of herpes, carriers of the virus should always practice safe sex, even during oral sex, since it can be transmitted from the mouth to the genitals. condoms should be used consistently and correctly for all sexual encounters, but it’s not 100 percent foolproof. imagine having to explain to a potential partner that you have the disease and then share the terrible risks before intimacy, not exactly foreplay.”
There was a lot of nonsense in that paragraph, so let’s break it down a bit…
Herpes carriers don’t always have to practice safe sex, especially if they take herpes-suppressing medications and their partners are comfortable with the incredibly low risk of transmission (download the free brochures for detailed breakdowns on transmission rates and read the e-books to learn the disclosure opportunity form).
also, while the virus can be transmitted from the mouth to the genitals if partner a has oral herpes and partner b is receiving oral sex, if partner a has genital herpes, it cannot be transmitted to partner b through of oral sex. that is a very important distinction.
“terrible news”? oh please.
Finally, characterizing it as a disease or “terrible news” that one must explain to a potential partner maintains the stigma of herpes. Is it a difficult conversation to have? maybe. articles like that make herpes talk a tough conversation to have (but herpes talk can actually be an opportunity to connect!). however, if the partner with herpes is well informed about the condition itself, transmission rates, and willing to avoid skin-to-skin contact with blisters during herpes outbreaks, it can be a very manageable conversation (possibly even an opportunity). connection for deeper intimacy).
The judgment on the sexual life of these celebrities with herpes is fascinating.
They are either portrayed as helpless victims (anne heche) or are mocked and blamed for their poor judgment and risky sexual behavior. there is a lot of sexual negativity associated with herpes transmission. the writers of these sites seem to revel in the drama that abounds when a celebrity is seen buying antiviral medication at the pharmacy, or an ex reveals that he was “infected” by her “ex-prostitute.”
poor derek jeter has a flowchart of exes who were alleged “victims” of his sexual proclivities. maybe derek jeter is not informed. maybe he’s not taking suppressive medication. maybe he is too afraid of herpes talking to his partners because he fears rejection. let’s not assume he has nefarious motives or that he is intentionally spreading herpes throughout hollywood. Instead of being filled with disgust, as the journalists who wrote these articles clearly are, I am filled with empathy and concern, wondering why someone didn’t explain to him that herpes isn’t that bad and that it’s okay to talk to partners. about it before having sexual contact. he wishes someone would tell him that he is not a herpes perpetrator, most likely he is just an uninformed person. there is no shortage of them when it comes to herpes in our society. Instead of blaming or blaming, which we know is toxic and counterproductive, let’s make an effort to open up about STIs and “talk it out” before getting intimate with a new partner.
While I was reading these articles, the same thought was echoing in my head: no wonder people are afraid to come out and say “I have herpes.” It’s no wonder there are so many people who come to our herpes forums who feel like their lives have ended because of their diagnosis. society can be ruthless and cruel to people with herpes, and I think this article vividly illustrates that.
However, rather than let that ruin my evening, I am forced to act.
let’s spread the knowledge. Let’s spread acceptance. Let’s spread empathy and support. let’s not spread malicious rumors and negative sexual attitudes.
who’s with me?
p.s. — if you want to practice the opportunity mindset to transform herpes embarrassment into deep, resonant, sexy connection, first download the e-book & brochures, then take a deep dive into Adrial’s powerful audio course, The Opportunity Lifestyle Guides. (Get it 10% off when you use coupon code celeb at checkout.)
Do you feel like you’re the only one? you’re not. away from there! Join a supportive community of fellow opportunists in our free opportunity forums.