12. Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
There are halloween movies that are (slightly) more inept than halloween 6, also known as the curse of michael myers. there are also halloween movies that are visually dirtier and more unpleasant than the curse of michael myers. however, there is no other halloween movie as stupid as the curse of michael myers. This messy, incoherent jumble of slasher clichés commits Halloween‘s deadly sin: it explains why Michael is evil. and his explanation is ridiculously silly.
In this movie, it’s revealed that Michael isn’t actually a psychopathic killer or an empty, calculating embodiment of evil (the ambiguity between the two, of course, is always the draw). no, it turns out that he is a victim; a man tortured by an evil Illuminati-like cult that placed a Druid curse on him as a child, forcing him to kill his family. he doesn’t want to do it. he talks about defanging your monster. Plus, the movie that unceremoniously slaughtered the franchise’s new lead, Jamie Lloyd, in the first 10 minutes while refusing to bring Danielle Harris back to the role, didn’t do fans any favors. but look, there’s a young paul rudd like a grown up tommy doyle!
11. Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
one step forward and 39 steps back. that seems to be the real curse of michael myers. take halloween:resurrection, for example. Four years earlier, Jamie Lee Curtis returned in the franchise’s first reboot that offered an ultimately satisfying ending to Michael Myers’ reign, even if that movie itself suffered from being a Scream clone. So Halloween: Resurrection opens with an unconvincing reconfiguration of the last one: it was a doctor in a bill shatner mask who was decapitated by Laurie! And then he spends 10 minutes killing Curtis’s Laurie Strode! there’s another deadly halloween sin that you should never break.
worse yet, she’s killed off to make way for… um, michael myers massacring the cast of mtv’s rules of circulation or something? if you don’t get that reference, then you know exactly how poorly this movie has aged along with its clever use of occasional found footage and a vacuous cast of red meat. you’re not supposed to cheer michael up, that’s the jason or freddy trick. but how could you not egg him on as he makes his way through a reality series set in his house? resurrection only finishes one rung above last place due to classic camp line readings from busta rhymes, who saves the day while yelling “trick or treat, motherfucker!” and then “hey mikey, happy halloween!”
10. Halloween II (2009)
there’s a good movie buried somewhere halloween ii rob zombie. Follow Danielle Harris, the self-proclaimed “Halloween Girl,” as Annie. she is the first non-stride relative to survive an encounter with myers. A year after being brutally attacked, she has become a reclusive introvert, a ghost of herself, and forced to live with a wonderful Brad Dourif as her father and an annoyingly out-of-control friend named Laurie. however, that is not the film we have. It’s a subplot in which a less interested zombie returns to transform apparent heroine Laurie Strode (Explorer Taylor-Compton) into another victim of her junk-metal aesthetic. this is supposedly how she deals with the events of the last movie, but it doesn’t have to.
However, even that too is a subplot, in a film that disconcertingly becomes more preoccupied with bizarre music video images dancing inside Michael Myers’ head. there, he imagines himself as an eight-year-old talking to the ghost of his mother (sheri moon zombie clumsily shod here while wearing a white sheet) and eating raw dogs in the real world. Honestly, the movie is a mess with a lot of the familiar zombie cruelty, but little of its wit. so it’s ugly. It even wastes Malcolm McDowell’s initially intriguing deconstruction of Dr. loomis, turning the character into a caricature.