jennifer johnson: can you tell why the united states is the largest country in the world?
sharon : diversity and opportunity.
lewis: freedom and freedom… so let’s keep it up.
moderator: will you?
will mcavoy: the new york jets.
moderator: no, I’m going to ask you for an answer on that. What makes America the largest country in the world?
will mcavoy: well lewis and sharon said so. diversity and opportunity and liberty and liberty.
moderator: I won’t let you go back to the airport without answering the question.
will mcavoy: well, our constitution is a masterpiece. james madison was a genius. the declaration of independence is, to me, the greatest piece of american writing…
[teacher keeps looking]
will mcavoy: you don’t seem satisfied.
moderator : one is a set of laws and the other is a declaration of war. I want a human moment from you… and the people? why america…
will mcavoy: not the best country in the world, professor. that’s my answer
moderator: are you saying…
moderator : let’s talk about…
will mcavoy: good.
[turns to sharon]
will mcavoy: sharon, the nea is a loser. yes, it represents a penny of our paycheck, but he
[gestures to lewis]
will mcavoy : he can hit you with it whenever he wants. It doesn’t cost money, it costs votes. it costs airtime and column inches. Do you know why people don’t like liberals? because they lose. if liberals are so fucking smart, how come they always lose so fucking bad?
will mcavoy: [turns to lewis] and with a straight face, will you tell the students that the united states is so full of stars that we are the only ones in the world that have freedom? Canada has freedom. japan has freedom the United Kingdom. France. Italy. Germany. Spain. australia… belgium! it has freedom… 207 sovereign states in the world, about 180 of them have freedom.
will mcavoy: [looks at jenny] and, yeah, you… sorority girl. In case you ever accidentally walk into a voting booth, there are a few things you need to know. one of them is: there is absolutely no evidence to support the claim that we are the largest country in the world. we rank 7th in literacy, 27th in math, 22nd in science, 49th in life expectancy, 178th in infant mortality, 3rd in median family income, 4th in labor force and 4th in exports. We lead the world in just three categories: number of citizens incarcerated per capita, number of adults who believe angels are real, and defense spending, where we spend more than the next 26 countries combined, 25 of which are allies. now none of this is the fault of a 20 year old college student, but you are nonetheless a member of the worst generation of all time, so when you ask what makes us the best country in the world, world, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!… yosemite?
[stunned silence; jenny looks deeply humiliated]
will mcavoy: … sure used to be. we stood up for what was right. we fought for moral reasons. we pass laws, we repeal laws, for moral reasons. we wage wars against poverty, not against the poor. we sacrificed, we cared for our neighbors, we put our money where our mouth was, and we never beat our chests. we built great, great things, made ungodly technological advances, explored the universe, cured diseases, and cultivated the world’s greatest artists and the world’s greatest economy. We reach for the stars, we act like men. we aspire to intelligence, we do not despise it. It didn’t make us feel inferior. We don’t identify who we voted for in the last elections and we don’t get scared so easily. we were able to be all of these things and do all of these things because we were briefed… by great men, men who were revered. The first step in solving any problem is acknowledging that one exists. America is no longer the best country in the world.
[looks at the teacher]
will mcavoy: enough?